Sir Dogecoat's Morning Dispatch — 11th February 2026
In which we survey a field of the slain and find, against all odds, something worth riding toward
Good morrow, brave knights! I performed my customary silly walk to the trading desk this morning only to find the Grail glowing with the faintest, most apologetic flicker — as if to say "I wouldn't get too excited, old boy." And rightly so. The indices have gone full Black Knight on us: DAX down four-tenths, CAC losing over half a percent, and the STOXX50 continuing its streak of misery. 'Tis but a scratch, they insist, but the blood is quite clearly everywhere.
The scanner has vomited forth twenty-five candidates, and I must tell you, most of them look like the dead parrot — they have ceased to be, they are EX-stocks, they are pining for the fjords of yesterday's prices. We have RSI readings in the teens across half this list, which is the sort of oversold carnage that makes one want to become a lumberjack instead. AJ Bell has cratered nearly eight percent intraday on what appears to be earnings revulsion, Dassault Systèmes has fallen twenty percent from its open (nobody expects the French Inquisition!), and Kempower is doing its best impression of a coconut dropped from a great height.
But amid the wreckage, one setup genuinely makes the Grail hum. Unilever London (ULVR.LO) is strutting about at session highs like Sir Lancelot at a wedding, having broken above its opening range with conviction. RSI at 83 with rising slope, Stoch at 96, price kissing R2 at 5305 — this is a stock with lovely plumage indeed. With FTSE flat-to-green providing a mild tailwind, and VWAP slope positive, we ride with the momentum. The entry wants a pullback to the 5290-5305 zone rather than chasing the top.
For the watch list, Julius Baer (BAER.CH) is deeply oversold with RSI turning sharply upward — Stoch_K slope of 3.44 suggests the bounce attempt is real, but I need it to reclaim 63.80 before I'll commit a single coconut. And Flatex (FTK.DE) shows enormous volume (3.8x normal!) with bullish candle patterns emerging at the lows — but that 4% daily ATR is the killer rabbit, and I want to see VWAP recaptured before engaging.
Everything else? Run away! Run away!
Always look on the bright side — at least we found one.
Hour 11 Update
By the sacred pen-holder on my desk, the Grail is flickering like a dying torch in Castle Anthrax! The battlefield is strewn with fallen knights today — everything's being dragged to the dungeon by bears wielding pointy sticks. BAER and FTK continue their descent into the abyss with RSIs in the low twenties and no sign of a turning point; they're not bouncing, they're pining for the fjords. STJ.LO is down over 10% from its high like the Black Knight insisting "'tis but a scratch!" while missing all four limbs — ADX at 74 with Stoch at 1.3, that's not oversold, that's a corpse being dragged behind the cart. Meanwhile, VNA.DE stands alone like a shrubbery in a desert, RSI 87 at session highs with volume 2.16x average — a magnificent beast running counter to its index, though I suspect the French taunters will have their say before day's end. I shall watch this one for a potential fade if it stumbles near these lofty heights. The Swedish names (SAVE, AZA, NCAB) are all being fed to the killer rabbit — deeply oversold but with accelerating ADX and no volume confirmation of a turn. Nobody expects the Swedish Inquisition, and I shan't try to catch those falling swords.
Hour 12 Update
The Grail flickers a moody amber — the colour it usually reserves for when I've accidentally left a coconut in the microwave
Right then, brave knights. The battlefield is littered with the fallen today — a veritable Swedish massacre across the Nordic boards, with RSIs in the teens as far as the eye can see. 'Tis a field of Black Knights, every one of them insisting "'tis but a scratch!" while missing both legs. STJ continues its descent into the abyss, now down 11.5% from HOD with RSI 21.7 and Stoch still sliding — the Black Knight has lost another limb and I see no tourniquet forming. VNA.DE, however, has done something rather interesting: RSI has cooled from 87.6 to 68.3 and Stoch has crossed below 60, which is precisely the rollover I was watching for, and it remains stubbornly above VWAP at €25.80 while the DAX bleeds — the shrubbery defies gravity still, so I shall keep watching but it hasn't given me the rejection candle I need. As for the new candidates, they're all plummeting like the holy hand grenade after the pin's been pulled — NCAB, SECT-B, NIBE-B, NORCO, HIAB, TTALO, SYNSAM, and PIRC are all printing RSIs between 12 and 20 with ADX rising, which means these trends are freight trains and catching the falling knife here would be like charging the killer rabbit without the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, and nobody should expect these to bounce without a proper reversal signal. I'll watch NIBE-B as it approaches yesterday's S2 pivot with the lowest Stoch of the lot — if it can form a base and hook, there may be a quest worth riding.
Hour 13 Update
Hark, brave knights! The afternoon session reveals a battlefield most peculiar — NIBE has crawled back from the abyss like a knight crying "I'm not dead yet!" but that bearish engulfing and fading volume suggest the rabbit still has teeth, so we shall keep watching but not yet ride. Vonovia continues its magnificent ascent, now well above every pivot known to Christendom, but the Bollinger squeeze and declining RSI slope whisper that this shrubbery may be reaching its final "Ni!" — still too strong to short, the Black Knight hasn't lost a limb yet. Meanwhile, AMBU-B is making fresh session lows with RSI at 17 and the knife is falling faster than a French cow from a castle wall — a proper bounce-watch if the rabbit ever stops biting. And Ferrari! By the Grail itself (which is glowing rather enthusiastically), RACE has galloped from €308 to €319 with five bullish candle patterns and ADX rising — but Stoch at 92 near R1 means we've arrived fashionably late to Castle Anthrax, so we watch for a pullback entry rather than chase.
Hour 14 Update
Hark, brave knights! The afternoon wears on and the Grail upon my desk glows with a peculiar amber hue — not quite the "holy golden shimmer of a perfect setup" but more the "someone left a candle too close to the shrubbery" sort of glow. Our Unilever quest rides on under the system's watchful eye, so I shan't meddle with that. Now then — AMBU and NIBE remain fallen knights, still pining for the fjords with that killer rabbit gnawing at their ankles, though NIBE has at least managed to bounce off S2 and shows a Bollinger squeeze forming, which is mildly interesting if you squint. RACE has done exactly what we hoped — pulled back from the stratosphere with Stoch dropping to 63 and RSI cooling, approaching our drawbridge zone near EMA20 at 318.36. Not quite there for a proper entry yet, but the plumage remains lovely. Among the new candidates, MTG-B.ST is a magnificent falling knife — ADX 58.6, RSI 20, Stoch 4.8, down 4.2% on the session — this is the Black Knight insisting "'tis but a scratch!" while missing both legs. Worth watching for a reversal but absolutely NOT yet. The rest — LOGN, BBOX, ORA, ASM, SGRO, VIE, SVT — all sport RSIs north of 78 and Stochastics above 90, which is to say they've all eaten the wafer-thin mint and are one belch from a Mr. Creosote situation. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, but I rather expect a pullback from those levels.
Hour 15 Update
Brave knights, the Hour 15 dispatches arrive and I must report that the battlefield is a study in contrasts most Pythonesque. Our noble ULVR rides onward under the system's care — we shall not meddle with what the Grail hath blessed. MTG-B has become a proper Black Knight situation, losing limbs at an alarming rate — ADX 67 and still rising, RSI 17 with negative slope, Stoch at 5 and falling, now printing fresh session lows at 89.45. "Tis but a scratch!" it cries, but I assure you it has no arms left and the rabbit is still gnawing. NIBE-B has calmed somewhat — RSI recovered to 49 and Stoch hooking up to 45, but it's sitting right on EMA20 at 36.88 with a Bollinger squeeze and bearish MA cross, which is to say it's resting, not dead, but certainly not ready for a quest. RACE.MI, that magnificent Italian stallion, sits at 0.95 HOD position with RSI 67 and Stoch 83 — the Grail glowed faintly but the pullback I demanded never materialized; she simply galloped onward without us, the cheeky mare. Among the new candidates, GBG.LO and AFRY.ST are falling knives that would require the Holy Hand Grenade to stop — nobody expects to catch those. The FTSE-aligned names SVT, SGRO, and BBOX show gorgeous strength with the index up 0.72%, but all three are at RSI 80+ and Stoch 85-97 at session highs — chasing them now would be the "just one wafer-thin trade" that makes the account go full Mr. Creosote. I shall watch SGRO for a pullback, as that ADX 59 with +DI 43 vs -DI 7 is the loveliest plumage I've seen all day.
Hour 16 Update
Hark, brave knights! The afternoon session finds us in a peculiar predicament — nearly everything on our scanning table is pinned to session highs with RSI readings that would make even the most fanatical devotee of the Holy Hand Grenade count well past five. SGRO has pulled back beautifully into our 772-775 zone as prophesied, the Grail is doing that faintly luminous thing, and I believe the drawbridge is lowering at last. RACE meanwhile sits pretty at R1 pivot resistance with the MIB index trudging bearishly against her — she's not the Messiah, she's a very naughty stock trading contra-index, so we'll keep watching but with one eyebrow raised. As for the new candidates: Finnair and SSAB are glorious runners but chasing them at Stoch 99-100 is Castle Anthrax territory of the highest order. Dassault Systèmes, meanwhile, has been absolutely fish-slapped — down 23% intraday from open to low — and while 'tis but a scratch to some, that bearish Marubozu at session lows with RSI 20.5 and 79 million shares traded suggests something profoundly dead. It has ceased to be. It is an ex-stock. We shall add LOGN.CH to our watch — that ADX of 74 is the strongest trend I've seen since I rode through the forest of Ní, and if she pulls back toward EMA20 at 72.11 with that Bollinger squeeze still active on the SMI, we could have something rather special.